josh simpson

(plus maybe 5-10yrs)


simpsons movie

because you might be as bored as i am

I Witnessed a Murder Today




IM IN UR ING UR

Casa Cantrellsky

So I've been in NJ with Oksana for the last 5 days. It is very exciting, and I can't wait to move (we'll close August 27, 2007) I put together an album of photos of the house. Check it out and let me know:

EDIT (6/20/07): So I finally got around to reading my own post, and I realize I failed to note that the point is that we were in NJ looking for a house and chose this house. Duh

http://www.cbryancan.com/house/house01.html

Also, it is neat to note that the town we are moving to, Parsippany-Troy Hills Township, NJ, was #17 overall on the CNN/Money 2006 Best Places to Live (and top in NJ)

My letter from the White House

Ok. I'm going to ask you all to please put aside all your political leanings for a second. I realize this guy is not popular, and frankly I don't know if anyone is happy with him (myself included). But think of the president as an office, not a person.

So, when I sent graduation invitations out, I had few extra. Just like when I got my BA, I figured it can't hurt to send one of these to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (look it up if you haven't already figured out what is there). It is mostly for feces and laughter, but I did remember that last time (undergrad) I got a nice prefabricated postcard congratulations from the president. The signature on that card was obviously pre-printed, but still a neat little thing anyway. I had like 5 extra, so it can't hurt right?

Well I was surprised when I got the mail today. There was a large hard envelope from "The White House, Washington, DC." Upon opening it, I found it contained a cardboard backer and this letter:



The stationary and letterhead are actually nice, 100% cotton with metallic embossing. So I'm thinking they just sent me a NICER completely prefabricated letter. But then I started taking a closer look. First of all, the signature was hand written by someone. I know this because it bled through to the back a little bit. It was clearly done in a Sharpie or some other permanent marker.

yes, I do know that celebrities often have people who just sign things on their behalf. But take a look at google images search for "George W. Bush signature" or this example from the White House Website. You have to admit this signature matches those. So either an EXCELLENT forger wrote this OR someone wrote all the signatures contained on the google page and whitehouse.gov above OR George W. Bush actually signed this letter.

Furthermore, other evidence suggests authenticity. 1) If you are going to forge a signature, why bother putting it in a nice envelope with cardboard backing clearly designed to protect the document from damage during transport? 2) Real postage stamps were used, although curiously not canceled (maybe they don't bother since most white house mail doesn't need postage?). Again, why go to the trouble for a fake? It wasn't part of a presorted mass mailing.

I am not so disillusioned as to think that W plopped down in the executive chair in the oval office and typed up a letter for me. PROBABLY the body of the letter is a form sent to JDs . What I think is that he gets a stack of these every so often and signs them as a gesture of good will and public accessibility. Whether I got lucky to be selected or he does all graduate or professional invitations I don't know. Of course there is the cynical view that I got this because I consistently vote republican, including voting for him twice (He's not perfect.. or great.. or maybe even good, but I still think definitely better that Gore or Kerry). There is the paranoid view that the government is watching us all and perhaps saw that I am a Republican becoming less satisfied with the party. Who knows?

One last thing, a little oddity. I don't understand why the letter was addressed to "Christopher B. Cantrell" but the salutation is "Dear Bryan." The invitation definitely said "Christopher Bryan Cantrell." The return label said "C. Bryan Cantrell." I just think it is odd that it got address to one but the salutation is another. Some lowly intern was actually paying attention, at least half way.

Anyway, I just thought it was at least a little bit cool. I mean... maybe this letter was in the oval office a few weeks ago? Some might think it is no big deal at all, but I love government and political theory, so it is just sort of cool.

Immersive Media street-scanning car

here's what they're gonna look like...

check out the 11 lens mounted camera on top...



(this is assuming you've all seen the new google street view.)

say hello to the JL421 Badonkadonk Tank

JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank

(the reviews are hilarious. it's funny how big it looks until you see the picture of the guy in it.)

these are also great:

Relaxman Relaxation Capsule

Inflatable Party Sheep

Mmm, spicy Jamaican style!

This is a real product. No joke. I bought one of these in NJ several years ago. I had it for a long time but I haven't seen it lately. Click the title of this post to see the manufacturer's website showing the product.

My blog is up

Based on the urging of Josh, I finally got my blog going. It will likely go through some formatting changes in the near future, but I am planning to post every couple of days. I try to keep them short, so I appreciate anyone taking the time to check it out and especially to comment (even if you only have some smartass remark to make... I think you know who I am talking to)

Here you go

motivation

Evey's Birthday

It was Evey's birthday last month, so we tormented her by making her wear a party hat. I thought the resulting pictures were cute. Enjoy.

An interesting interpretation

peter oberst?

MacGruber

(billy showed me this. i missed it cause i was watching 28 weeks and forgot to set the Videocassette Recorder.)

... and yes I AM a lawyer ...

... just an unlicensed one. And I'll be doing something about that in a few months.

hehe

ninjas dancing...

so this is like a dance performed in a round (like row row row your boat...)

first he does it by himself to show you- and then everyone together-




and then they did it in a prison...

hot off the presses

Josh Scholes called me today to tell me that he just got engaged!

how about that?


here's a picture of the happy couple- i janked it from facebook- (which i still dont understand why some of you arent on- but thats another story...)

derren brown

i wont take up an entire post- but anyone with 10 spare minutes- please do yourself a favor and put "darren brown" into youtube- he's one of the most amazing performers i've ever seen (has his own show on the BBC)- some really really amazing stuff that you can just watch for hours if you've got some spare time- i've put afew videos on My blog if you feel so inclined- i challenge you to find fault in authenticity of the one about the grocery store (the top video)

SNL

This is from last night's SNL. The show wasn't very good, but then this sketch came on. And you watch it... and you sit there thinking... this is dumb.. and gross... and then it just gets funny. I can't explain it. And then it goes completely random (esp. the very end). But I loved it.

also this...

love this...

The Wig Thieves



Add to My Profile | More Videos

sorry for the low quality

i hope this guy doesn't have a wife.

ESPN map

so.... i was checking out ESPN recently and there was a vote in reference to the fact that South Carolina has a confederate flag flying on the grounds of its capital- it was previously on top of the actual building but in 2000 was moved to the side near the grave of a confederate soldier...

there has been considerable debate about NCAA sporting events being held in the sate- the most recent decision that came down a few months ago was that no conference championships could be held in the state because of the flag-

so they the poll today was:
"Do you object to the presence of a confederate battle flag on the state capitol grounds in South Carolina?" (yes or no)




i found it rather interesting (but i suppose not unexpected) that the vote was pretty close and how certain states fell along a certain line in a certain pattern...

any thoughts?

(p.s.- i voted "no": i think slavery was very very wrong, but i also think that the civil war part of our nation's history is something we should remember-- in order to perhaps prevent such a thing from ever happening again)

Dear Sister

this is hilarious. (man they already took down the first one i put up.)



i'm glad andy and bill are doing so well on snl. it's really impressive being it's their 1st or 2nd season.

did anyone see ATHFCMFT this weekend?

pappert, i'm looking in your direction....



if you did, here are the lyrics to the opening song. (if you havent seen it, the setup is a "let's go out the lobby" song before the movie and it gets interrupted by a very unsavory, pierced, tattooed, heavy metal food item band (Mastodon). they're screaming the lyrics. so much that there are subtitles in the movie for it. it goes like this...)

"Cut You Up With a Linoleum Knife"

Don't talk, watch!
Don't talk, watch!

You came here, watch it!
Don't like it? Walk out!
We still have all your f-ing money!

Do not kick or jiggle the seat in front of you while you are sitting there.
I am everywhere at once and I will cut you up.
If you make out here I will cut your lips and tounge from your head with a LINOLEUM KNIFE!!!!

Do not explain the plot,
if you don't understand then you should not be here
Your money is now our money and we will
SPEND IT ON DRUGS!

Do not crinkle your food wrapers loudly,
be considerate to others
or I will bite your torso
and give you a disease.

Did you bring your baby?
Babies don't watch this.
Take the seed outside.
LEAVE IT IN THE STREET!
Run it over after the show.

If I see you videotaping this movie,
Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid,
and dissolve your testicles and turn your guts into snakes.

This is a copyrighted movie for Time-Warner
If I find you sold it on eBay
I will break into your house and tear your wife in half

Suck it, Scott!

A Gamers' Manifesto

I stumbled across this and thought it was just too funny not to share with the video game lovers on this blog.

A Gamers' Manifesto

The State Easter Eggs

Each year the 50 states (and District of Columbia) select artists to decorate Easter eggs to the send the White House. The artists within each state vote amongst themselves to select their state's egg to present to the First Lady. Here is Tennessee's egg:

Tennessee

Then there's Wyoming:


Wyoming

Not so good, eh, Wyoming? Here is some background on what happened to Wyoming's egg.

Look what we have to look forward to!

A proud Grandma Jess with her hairy, 4eyed grandson(?).

Will Ferrell short film

Have you guys seen the Will Ferrell/Adam McKay short film called The Landlord? If not, click on the link in the title and enjoy. If someone wants to imbed it in the blog feel free. I thought it was pretty funny, let me know what you think.

Oksana and Bryan circa 2050

I found this really cool thing online that lets you submit a picture and it "ages" you. It will also let you see what you might look like as various races and in a few particular artists unique styles.

Anyway, this is supposedly we will look like when we're "older adults" (I estimated 2050, a nice round number... we'll be 68):

Kinda scary, I think, since it looks like my dad + 15 years.

Check it out for yourself: http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Transformer/. The aging is much better than the de-aging in my opinion. You can also do humorous pictures of yourself as a few different races.

Unbelievable

Unbelievable... That's all I can say. This video is unbelievable. At the beginning I'm thinking... yeah, these are cool, but I've seen this sort of thing done before. But then it goes on.. and on.. and on.. and on.. and on.

My favorite two parts are the chess board and the cell phones.

I can't imagine how long it took to 1) build this and 2) get it to work in one run.

Sorry I couldn't find it in a format I could readily embed. Just click to watch.

Also you would think with all that work you'd get the cameras set up to see everything, but there are moments where it isn't exactly clear what's going on.

More Madagascar pictures

So I was bored at work today, and thought I'd share some more of the pictures from my trip. Hopefully you enjoy, and there's always more where these came from, if demand is high.

A small village we saw on the way to examine a patient. Later in the rainy season, all of the terraces will be green with growing rice.

These are the taxis that you use to get around the city. Most of them were made in the 60's in France. They've very likely been in constant use since then. In one of them, the gas tank was a water bottle on the floor of the driver's side with a tube stuck in it. It was always an adventure getting across town.

This was in the rainforest we visited. The snail isn't too impressive until you know it's about the size of a fist.

This is a blank and white ruffed lemur, which is one of the more distinct looking types and one of my favorites.

This is my other favorite type of lemur, the Bamboo lemur. You can probably guess what they eat.

(Hint: It's bamboo)

This is a typical scene in the highlands area in the center of the country. Rice is their main source of food, so there are numerous rice fields, like this one, everywhere.

A schoolhouse in one of the villages we visited. Kids were always curious when we rolled into their town.

A view of Antananarivo (Tana for short) from the top of a hill. This is the capitol city, and where I lived for the 6 weeks I was there.

A really pretty waterfall we stopped to see while on the road one day.

This is the means of transportation between villages in the more rural areas. It's called a taxi-brousse, or "bush taxi."

My New Website

So I finally decided to put my website back together. I have been using Vanderbilt's webspace for a while, but I'll lose that privilege in a few months. I got a great deal on hosing and my domain name from 1and1.com. So far so good.

http://www.cbryancan.com/

You can now email me at bryan@cbryancan.com (or actually anything at cbryancan.com or cbryancan.net will go to that email). I'll continue to monitor my gmail, but I will be phasing my vanderbilt email out.

I am using blogger to host my blog (which will be "part" of my site) but I used my custom domain http://blog.cbryancan.com to point to the blog. It was complciated, but you can't use any of the upgraded blogger features if you host the blog on your own space. So my blog actually exists on blogger, but it looks like it is on my space. Doesn't really matter to you, but it was a complicated thing to figure out.

Its all (site + blog) in very early stages (nothing really on there yet), and I am extremely busy, so it likely won't be much for a while. I'll let you know when I finish and publish the "first draft" of it.

If anybody cares... While putting my new website/blog together, I found a workaround to get rid of the annoying ads in the Haloscan comment box. I applied it to this blog as well, so just note the reason there are no more ads is becuase I did that. If you object, I'll remove the code and put the ads back.

Blogger Issues

Has anyone had regular trouble loading this blogger page? I want to find out if it is something with my computer or everyone. I am using IE 7. I know many of you use FireFox. Basically, when I load the page, it stalls and sits for 5-20 seconds. Then sometimes I get a series of messages informing me the plugins have failed. I have surmised that the plugins it refers to are likely the two embedded mp3s in my Jim Gaffigan Post. Add that to the large number of YouTube embeds that are on here and the system gets overloaded. So I removed those mp3s. If you miss them, I can send you copies.

If others are having this problem, I'd like to know so that I can avoid overdoing the embedded media. If not, I'd like to know so I can deal with my computer's issues.

Thanks!

No, this picture doesn't relate to my question. It's just cute.

The Most Hated Family in America

BBC reporter, Louis Theroux, has a show on British TV spending time with people with extreme views and tries to get to get to know them as people and to find out what makes them tick. This time he spends some time with the Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church, the same group of people who picket US soldiers' funerals. (Note: NSFW language and plenty of hate)

The Most Hated Family in America (Part 1)

(Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7)

Bonus Material: Louis Theroux talks about the show.

Forget YouTube

Go To These Sites If You Want Hard Core Copyright Infringing Content

an article on some non-YouTube video sites (for those frustrated with the copyright problems YouTube goes through).

The Reagans on Drugs

Nancy says "Just Say Yes"

holy crap this is cute...

sea otters holding hands...

wait until 1:20!

sooo....

so there was a big free dinner thing put on at the memphis Zoo tonight sponsored by Fred's pharmacy (the idea is we get free stuff and then we work for them when we graduate)- it was cool cause i got to walk around by myself and check out all the animals and stuff- the actual food and stuff was in the panda exhibit which is usually extra money (i.e. i've never been in the panda exhibit before)- actually i dont see what the big deal about the pandas was- eh well- but at the end of the night they do door prizes and i was actually ready to leave- "i've been here the last 2 years and they never have any good stuff at these- lets get out of here" i said...."no lets stay for the prizes"..."whatever you want"... and i'm screwing around waiting for it to be over- and the last thing they give out is one of the new 4gig ipod nanos (this one was lime green)- and they reached into the bag- and right then i thought to myself "its me- i'm gonna win that ipod" and i started walking towards the stage- "and the winner is... Scott... Burka!"- it was really weird- i dont believe in premonition at all, and i totally consider what happened as just a big coincidence- but man- that was just crazy- i'm pretty sure all my friends kinda resented the fact that i won it (totally not kidding) seeing as how i already own 2 ipods and this makes #3 (in my defense- i have a 2gig nano and an old 15-gig that cant hold a charge for more than an hour... so i mean... its more like i had 1.2 ipods before this) and many of them are in the market for getting mp3 players... it actually kinda made me a little uncomfortable that everyone was giving me these mean looks-- i made a joke to brent at how thats what lottery winners must feel like? (i dont think anyone was really feeling my "hey i got another ipod!" jokes... ) i mean... crap- i know i'm the last guy in the world who needed to win that, but it happened, and i'm not just gonna hand a $200 mp3 player off cause i already have one...is that bad of me? i definitly dont want to be selfish or stingy, but you gotta take the good stuff when it comes your way, right?
as a show of good faith i'm selling my 2gig nano to a 2nd year girl who needs one...

Poutin' Manning

I truly, genuinely completely hate the NFL quarterback named Peyton Manning (aka Poutin' Mooning, Pey-me-a-ton Mooning, etc. etc.). I go to Vanderbilt (and thus am anti-UT), I am a Titans fan (and thus am anti-Colts)... and I even considered myself anti Volunteers in high school becuase that obnoxious orange drives me crazy.

Poutin' hosted SNL last week. I didn't see the show. I didn't expect it to go that well as I personally think Mooning is not very natural and believe that his commercials, though sometimes funny, take multiple takes to get to the mediocre performance he usually gives.

That being said... I saw this sketch/pseudo-commercial/short and I have to admit it is absolutely hilarious. I think it appeals to me becuase he is saying things that it looks like he's always thinking while he's on the field. So kudos to Mr. Manning for a good performance, at least in this.

HURRY AND WATCH IT WHILE IT IS STILL ON YOUTUBE!!!

Nuestro Perro Nuevo

This is our new dog. We adopted her from a shelter in Murfreesboro. I was excited to find a dog that fit our preferences and at the same time rescue an animal. She is 6 months old and is approx. half chihuahua and approx. half miniature pinscher. I say approx. because there is some suspicion that she might have some dachshund in her (because of her rather long, narrow back). Either way, chihuahua and min-pin are her dominant traits. As of yesterday's visit to the vet, she weighs 4.4 pounds. We don't expect her to get much bigger; 6 pounds is probably her maximum healthy weight, if not less.

We decided she needed to have a spanish name to honor her Latina heritage. We decided on Tequila, but we call her Tiki. Of course that hasn't stopped me from using several nicknames, from chalupa and gordita to cucaracha and, my favorite, "rejected taco meat." I try not to confuse her, but there is a plethora of entertaining and stereotypical nicknames available for an animal you have identified as Mexican.

She's pretty much bipolar. First thing in the morning, you would think she has been smoking crack all night. Then she curls up in your lap and conks out for anywhere from an hour to a day. She has an excellent temperament and is well socialized from her time in the shelter. She is still adjusting, but I think she is getting comfortable with us. She has started exhibiting some protective behaviors (barking/growling and noises and knocks), but I'm working hard to establish my dominance, which should help her relax and behave.

One of the great things is that she came to us about 95% housebroken. She was so used to using the ground to eliminate that she only had one accident of each variety in the apartment. Since then, only outside. The real test comes tomorrow when she will be confined during the day. She's also relatively crate trained, which is wonderful. Oksana wants her in the bed, but we're putting her in the crate for now. She whines, but she understands it is her place and hasn't woken us up from the other room (brief attempts to have her in the same room failed since she whines every couple hours).

She has shown very little mischief. She hasn't chewed on anything (we can barely get her to touch her toys, even ones stuffed with treats). She has been extremely picky about treats, which is difficult because having treats a dog loves are the key to humane training. We've already tried three different kinds (inc. one recommended by the vet) and she turns her nose up at them after trying it maybe once. I'm going to try some kitty treats today, a former neighbor of ours had success with those with her small dog.

Here are the photos. I'm afraid she is not very photogenic at all. Trust me when I say she is much cuter in person.


Scratching at her new collar.


Looking at the photographer.


Perhaps her favorite activity, couch lounging. It looks a little like she joined the police force, but that's just her harness. We switched to it because she is so small we were worried about jerking her around by the neck.

Jim Gaffigan

Last night Oksana and I went to the Ryman to see standup comedian Jim Gaffigan. The show was pretty good. It was a decent mix of new and "classic" material, although perhaps maybe a bit too much older material. The really cool thing about it was that Gaffigan has a personal policy of signing autographs and taking photos after his show. Keep in mind this is the Ryman Auditorium, not exactly a small venue. He waited around at least two hours to meet and greet. (the show itself was less than 90 minutes!). It took me about 1.5 hours to get to him. Even after all that time he was very pleasant, funny, and grateful (he shook my hand and said "thanks for coming out"). He always autographs anything you want him to and takes time to make sure he spells your name right. It was very cool for a celebrity or at least semi-celebrity to be so accessible. He really appreciates his fans and it certainly doesn't hurt him to have a merchandise table near so that you can buy something to get autographed (but you don't have to). Here is a NY Times article about his meet and greets. (use klausnyt6 as the username and ciaociao as the pw if you aren't registered)

Here are my photos from the evening:


I was waiting in line here.


This is my photo with him. He always adlibs his pose.


Here is my autographed ticket and hot pocket box. If you are confused about the hot pocket reference, see below.

Who is Jim Gaffigan? Aside from being a stand-up comedian, he has appeared in several Sierra Mist commercials. Below is his most well known bit, "Hot Pockets." Below that is one of my favorites "The Case Against Cinnebon." Enjoy. After that, several of his Sierra Mist commercials (the first one I just saw for the first time and is absolutely hilarious). After that, one of the "Pale Force" cartoons that he does for Late Night with Conan O'Brien. He appears on Conan at least every few weeks. And I think he's involved with their current hornymanatee.com (google it if you don't know what I'm talking about) obsession. He is also on a new TBS show called My Boys. I haven't seen it. Sorry for all the clutter, but I think it is hilarious so I thought I'd share.

(Removed because they were giving me problems loading the page- email me if you want them)

honestly, i didn't think MadTV was capable of producing something like this

Spiderman Site/Trailer

There is website being run by comcast at http://spidermanoncomcast.com/. Tomorrow (3-23) they are supposed to launch the final Spiderman 3 trailer there. I don't know whether you have to be using comcast to access it (I am using it right now, and I didn't try it at school). I would guess you don't, but I'm not sure.

Anyway, there is a ton of great stuff on there even before the trailer is posted. There are several very short behind the scenes things. There is also a long behind the scenes thing for Spiderman 1 and 2 and a very long sort of documentary on the evolution of the "black suit" in the comics. I thought it was really cool and gave me a lot of insight as someone who did not read the comics and doesn't know the story.

Here are some screen caps I got from the new trailer. I just picked out stuff we haven't seen in other trailers yet (mostly venom, but there is a picture of a scarred Harry first) Click to see full size version.

Bewaaaaaaare the Ides of March!

BeWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE the Ides of March!!!

2051 years ago, Julius Caesar was assassinated.

In 10 Minutes

For the geography student in all of us...

How many of these can you name in 10 minutes?

• US States


• European Countries


• African Nations


• Countries...actually UN Recognized States

holy crap

ummm... you guys remember Jennifer Elliot from highschool? she was in our class-

so this girl Jenn invites me to be her friend on myspace and i look at her profile- lives in Cali, doesnt look familiar at all- so i'm about to reject it when i see that she grew up in nashville-- so i shot her a message- "hey i see you grew up in nashville- am i supposed to know you?"
and she replies:

"Scott Scott Scott,

We graduated together... actually you and I have know each other since elementary school... we had band together in Jr High... Jennifer Elliott is the name! -

you don't remember me! We had tons of classes together throught the years... I don't remember the exact ones... I had Ms. Winfrey, Ms Giles, Ms Grisham, Ms Haas, Ms Smith, Ms Wagner, and Ms Ham in Elementary. I know we had Mr Starks together in Jr. High... but then we had some highschool classes together too.

I didn't look like that in highschool... I was about 100 pounds heavier... that may be throwing you. But I've always had dark brown hair"






ok- here's her picture- and they all look like this (and becuase i'm single i'm allowed to say this)- they are all really hot, in my humble opinion...

thats gotta be one of the bigger transformations i've seen in terms of someone i knew personally- wow

Anyone else think this is really funny?

Al Gore's Belle Meade home uses more energy per month than the average American home uses per year

Also here

Might we call this.... an.... inconveninent... truth....?

hopefully this wont get taken down right away

this was hilarious.



these are also great (you probably wont get much out of the 2nd one unless you watch the office. but if you DO watch the office, it's hilarious.)

Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and Lent

I come from a Christian tradition who doesn't necessarily celebrate the Lent. Therefore the whole Mardi Gras-Ash Wednesday thing is foreign to me. It wasn't until my high school years that I became familiar with it due to my friends from other Christian denominations began to celebrate it.
The concept of it seems strange to me. Mardi Gras is the last day before Lent, and therefore is a excuse to get wasted, females to flash their breasts, and other things that traditionally would be regarded as terribly sinful. And then Ash Wednesday comes and suddenly we all become religious and give up chocolate or coffee, or whatever in anticipation for the celebration for Easter.
It just seems weird to me. Jesus died for the world's sins, therefore in honor of him, we give up Cheetos for 40 days? I'm of the belief that we should live holy lives throughout out lives, and not just 40 days before Easter. Yet part of me says that if it helps someone grow closer to God, then it probably is a good thing.
Please don't take this post as me trying to discount someone's religious tradition. I guess I'm looking to try to understand the concept better.

i've never seen a cuter cat

this just freakin cracked me up. i've never seen one do this before.

i just upgraded this blog to the new version

i didn't really have a choice. i had to do the same with mine.

if anyone has trouble with this, just let me know. we'll get through this.

Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland

I don't know how many of you regularly watch Late Night with Conan O'Brien, but this is one of my favorite features. I only watch occasionally, but I have managed to catch a couple of these segments. Basically, Conan has made a point to go through every country (alphabetically) and insult it. I've tried to find a complete and authoritative list, but all of them copy or reference this one. Sorry this is a big long, but it was hard enough to narrow it to my top 10. Feel free to comment on any favorites that I missed. Also it appears that I enjoy the really mean spirited ones enough.

These are some of my favorites:

Afghanistan
The bad news is, there's a new article about everyone farming opium.
The good news is, you can't read.

Angola
Hey, call me when your life expectancy catches up with your inflation rate.

Cambodia
How many temples does it take before you guys realize God isn't listening?

Egypt
Where priceless ancient statues and mummies are so close, you can fly to London and see them at the British Museum.

Finland
You've had over 5,000 years of culture, and the world's most famous Finn is still Huckleberry.

Georgia
Where Europe meets Asia and says "Hey, why don't we both dump our crap here?"

Ghana
The 'h' is silent, like a room full of people after you ask "What's worthwhile about Ghana?"

Guatemala
Where the Mayans invented the zero, as in "What are the chances this shirt was made by someone over the age of eight? Zero!"

Italy
The newspapers are reporting a miracle. Apparently, a statue of Mary moved her hand and said, "I just worked harder than 80% of your workforce."

Nigeria
Where children come first... in the draft.

And , as a bonus, what has to be my absolute favorite:

Haiti
You just celebrated two hundred years of independence. Congratulations. Now make a wish and blow out your burning pile of tires.

Top Television Shows of All Time

So I was thinking today how great television has become (in some ways... and awful in others). I am thoroughly convinced that the following three shows are the best three television shows of all time, in this order.

1. Lost
2. Arrested Development
3. 24

There have been plenty of greats (simpsons, family guy, south park, the office [although I don't watch that one], seinfeld, etc.), but none of them are as profound as those above in my humble opinion.

First, Lost seems to transcend television. It doesn't FEEL like a television show at all. It feels like a really well done movie. The picture is so vibrant, crisp, clean, etc. The music is phenomenal. The story is incredible. The best part is that it is essentially impossible to anticipate where the story will go. At a certain point, most of us get a "feel" for the cliches of modern storytelling. But Lost captivates me and really makes me wonder what will happen next. Add a fantastic cast to the mix and I think you have the best show... ever.

Second, Arrested Development. Many will think this is a stretch. I think that AD broke into a whole new realm of comedy. Unfortunately, this series was never rewarded in ratings, so it struggled and eventually was laid to rest. It was just too smart for the average American sense of humor I suppose.

Last, 24. If I remember correctly, none of you are 24 viewers. I didn't start until last summer. But I think 24 is to action what AD is to comedy. There is a certain "no holds barred" characteristic to it. Nothing is sacred. I don't want to give anything away, but lots of terrible stuff has happened in the show that most "hero stories" would never allow. It can be a tad predictable once you learn Jack's personality, but there are still plenty of twists to keep things moving and keep me interested.

Anybody agree, disagree, have any alternate suggestions? I admit that there are many shows that I have not seen at all and some I have not seen enough, but as far as I can tell, these are the top three.

blogger blues

if anyone is currently unable to post on this blog because of the new blogger that came out, please let me know and i'll send you another invitation. this should fix it.

Snickers Pulls Ad

Snickers Decides to Pull Their Superbowl Ad from Any Future Re-Airing



I have really mixed feelings about this. I thought the ad was hilarious. I didn't even consider this "angle." And frankly, part of me things it is stupid to say that this ad somehow marginalizes the gay and lesbian community.

But I see their complaint, and I don't think it is completely unfounded, but I think we have to draw the line somewhere.

I really try to be fair and considerate of other people's feelings and beliefs. My gut says people offended by this (be they homosexual or not) should just get over it. But if I really think it through, it is pushing the envelope. Essentially this commercial depicts gayness as.. well "gross and unmanly." And while I personally may agree with that depiction, I'm not really sure it is an appropriate ad. This bothers me becuase I think that we, as a society, get offended by so many things these days (except of course the white male stereotype... tons of commercials make fun of white men, but we have to overlook that... I'm sick of "stupid husband" commercials... Imagine if there were a "stupid wife" commercial... sorry different rant). When does it end? Are we going to completely sterilize everything that used to be funny?

Thoughts?

Legal Lad Podcast

For those of you have ipods or listen to podcasts, I have a recommendation:

Legal Lad's Quick and Dirty Tips to a More Lawful Life

iTunes Link

The "quick and dirty" series started with the grammar girl podcast. I enjoy it because... well lets be frank here... I have a little bit of a thing for grammar. Some of you might like the grammar girl one, some of you might not.

Either way- she has expanded into several other "QD Tips" podcasts, the newest of which is the Legal Lad. The great thing about these is that they are SHORT (always under 10 minutes, often under 5).

I listened to his first episode on iTunes. I thought it was very good stuff, the sort of thing everyone should know (what you do and don't have to tell a police officer when you are pulled over).

Check it out. You can download directly from their site or subscribe on iTunes

i think you could just make one for like $20

Ignignokt the bomb
(the one i had up here originally got removed from ebay. it was going for over $5000.)

here are others: Err, Err, and Ignignokt.

that whole scare was so stupid. have you seen the news stories? the stupid media is calling it a bomb "hoax." it's not a hoax just because people thought an electronic device with an ATHF character on it was a bomb.


also, this is really fun.